What would you do to be in that 10%?

[girlanachronism]

Ten Top Trivia Tips about John Oliver!

1. Some people in Malaysia bathe their babies in beer to protect them from John Oliver!
2. John Oliver can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid!
3. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are John Oliver.
4. John Oliver is the only king without a moustache on the standard pack of cards.
5. In 1982 Time Magazine named John Oliver its 'Man of the Year'.
6. Koalas sleep for 22 hours a day, two hours more than John Oliver!
7. Baskin Robbins once made John Oliver flavoured ice cream!
8. While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their John Oliver!
9. It's bad luck to whistle near John Oliver.
10. If every star in the Milky Way was a grain of salt they would fill John Oliver.

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

Comments

[seagullsong.livejournal.com]

Oh God, I just looked his name up on that! It's so fantastic. Try Jon Stewart next. XD

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

# Jon Stewart will often rub up against people to lay his scent and mark his territory!

TRUFAX.

[seagullsong.livejournal.com]

You know what the first thing I thought of when I read that was? Those stories by reseda_ptah where Stephen goes all puppy and Jon throws frisbees for him and such. So, what, now Jon's a cat?

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Yes! He's a kitten. Who plays with Stephen!puppy.

Look, I have photographic evidence:

[seagullsong.livejournal.com]

D'Awwwwwwwwwwwww.

Look, this kitten almost looks like him!

http://artfiles.art.com/images/-/Jane-Burton/Blue-Eyed-Red-Merle-Border-Collie-Puppy-with-Birman-Cross-Kitten-Blue-Eyes-Photographic-Print-C13061316.jpeg

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

It has his eyes! His blue dopey worried intelligent eyes!

Now we just need a cute fluffy brown eyed puppy with a wonky ear.

[warriorpoet.livejournal.com]

While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their John Oliver!

Oh, it's fun to have water come out of my nose.

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

I WANT IN THAT TEN PERCENT. :P

Aren't you just getting great mental images with Rob/Stephen/Jon/insert fakenews person of your choice here?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lady_vanilla_/]

John Oliver can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid!

We could create so many Bugle legends with this thing. XD

India tested its first nuclear Andy Zaltzman in 1974.
All shrimp are born as Andy Zaltzman, but gradually mature into females!
Ninety-six percent of all candles sold are purchased by Andy Zaltzman.
Andy Zaltzman is physically incapable of sticking his tongue out!

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

It's like it's been designed to put our favourite red-haired bullshit king out of work! KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Also John begs to differ on that last one. He has person experience with... nevermind.

... dude, what does he do with all those candles?