LIKE A BOSS

[girlanachronism]

Mr. Colbert, thanks for coming to your performance review

No problem, Jon.

So you're in charge around the Report, is that fair to say?

Absolutely, I'm the boss

Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the boss

Well the first thing I do is...

Greet the Nation (like a boss)
Speak Truthiness (like a boss)
Tonight’s Word (like a boss)
And now a Threatdown (like a boss)

Run for President (like a boss)
Withdraw nobly (like a boss)
Make Huckabee (like a boss)
Fight with Conan (like a boss)

Ask Tad to tumble (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Blame gay agenda (like a boss)

Grope interns (like a boss)
Be racially colour-blind (like a boss)
Take on NASA (like a boss)
My name’s in space (like a boss)

Harrassment lawsuit (like a boss)
Lose Emmy to Manilow (like a boss)
Stalk Charlene (like a boss)
Send Tad to Alabama (like a boss)

Pull out Sweetness (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh fuck man I can't fucking do it... shit!
Pussy out (like a boss)

Eating Bobby (like a boss)
Dance-off with Rain (like a boss)
Blow Papa Bear (like a boss)
Score honey-crack (like a boss)

Suck my own dick (like a boss)
Break my wrist (like a boss)
Addicted to painkillers (like a boss)
Barack wearing Wriststrong (like a boss)

Black out in the gutter (like a boss)
Meet the Statue of Liberty (like a boss)
Fuck its brains out (like a boss)

Lose my hair in Iraq (like a boss)
Fly a fighter jet (like a boss)
Crash into Al-Faw Palace (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)

Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then, Stephen?

No doubt, Jon.

You fuck the Statue of Liberty and then you die?

Hell yeah

And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick

Nope.

Actually I'm pretty sure you did

No, Jon, I'm not a flag-burning, gay marrying pinko-liberal sexual deviant.

Okay. Well, this has been eye opening for me

I'm the boss

Yeah, no, I got that. You said it about four-hundred times

I'm the boss

Yeah. I got it.

I'm the boss

No, I heard you... uh, see you later

LIKE A BOSS!

Comments

[iamashamed.livejournal.com]

Win. Just. Win<3

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :DDD It practically wrote itself. Cos Stephen is the boss.

[iamashamed.livejournal.com]

xD That, he isXD

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lady_vanilla_/]

You should have seen me in my canteen at work biting my lip trying not to burst out into fits of laughter when I read this. SOMEONE NEEDS TO MAKE A FANVID. =D

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Well, I wrote it for you... so mission accomplished! BOO YAH!

I cannot do anything with video to save my life. I delegate responsibility for that task. I have made words; I can do no more.

[oni-butterfly.livejournal.com]

I just...Wow.

<3

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

*hugs* Thank you, bb.

[sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com]

Basically.

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

...so... you approve?

[sirdrakesheir.livejournal.com]

Yes.

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

:D

[trustingno1.livejournal.com]

Ask Tad to tumble (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Blame gay agenda (like a boss)

LOL FOREVER <333

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Aww, thanks! ♥ ♥ ♥

[warriorpoet.livejournal.com]

A+ LOLs, would LOL again.

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

♥ ♥ ♥

[themistoklis]

*flails a bit*

Oh, this is so perfect. :D

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks! *blushes* Stephen is rather well-tailored for this sort of thing.

*tacklehugs awesome XKCD icon*

[bigukgal.livejournal.com]

LOL. Thankyou for this <3

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Why, you are very very welcome. *curtsies*

Also, I wish to molest your icon, it is so awesome.

[kitsunesan.livejournal.com]

*dies* I LOVE IT! XD Oh HAI, by the way, I decided to come drop a line and ask if you minded me friending you, and then I had to read this. X3 Ugh, the O'Reilly thing though... *shakes head* How Stephen could even joke about that and not feel the need to bathe in acid afterward is beyond me. *shudder*

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Awww thank you! And of course I would love to friend you!

I know, right? And the way he looked at the camera when he said "Should have slapped me? My ears are still ringing!" (I think he was trying really hard not to laugh but the upshot was his voice was all wobbly and OH ABUSED!STEPHEN STOP BREAKING MY HEART)

[kitsunesan.livejournal.com]

Someone drew fanart of that imagine scene too. O_o Thankfully you could only see "Stephen", but he had a red mark on his face from being slapped. It was disturbing. Gyah. XP

Anyway- +friended! :D

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

AHHH DO NOT WANT

no wait, yes I do. Where?

[kitsunesan.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I couldn't tell you. XP Sorry, it's on Deviant Art somewhere, I found the link one day while I was drudging through all the back-posts in fakenews_fanart. Though there's a lot of good stuff on there that doesn't take all that long to get through sadly, so if you're ever bored it's a fun place to meander. ^^

[cyanfossil.livejournal.com]

I don't even remember the last time I laughed that hard at something on LJ. So full of win. Thanks for the pick me up!

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

My pleasure! Oh man, I can't even remember writing that. Heh. Fun times.