girlanachronism | I am a weapon of massive consumption, it's not my fault, it's how I'm programmed to function.

I'm listening to a song and I just heard the line 'shot down like a pro-choice doctor in texas'.

O.o

They're odd boys, British India. Anyway, I'm really just posting because I had a weird, weird dream. And I wanted to describe it, because I'm bored.

Starts off in a big office building, and I'm with a friend of mine and we're trying to convince this girl not to have this new surgery that makes you really really pretty and all, because we're suspicious of it, and I keep saying things like 'have you never seen any films or something? if it's too good to be true, it's because it's too fucking good to be true!' and my friend Jessica is trying to work out if we're in a horror movie by checking if people have fake boobs. Then there's zombies everywhere, which makes perfect sense in dream-logic, and we're running along with everyone else to get out the door. Except it's jammed, and the zombies have reached the stragglers and are starting to eat them, and I'm getting crushed worse than at BDO.

Anyway, then Jess and I make a break for the elevator and get there just in time, going up two floors (all the zombies and other people are on the ground floor, for some reason) and climbing out the window. We get into a car, and then bicker for a while because neither of us actually know how to drive. And then we take it in turns, reversing when we mean to go forward, looping in circles, smashing into things and calling out apologies to all the zombies we knock over.

Skip to night time (no idea why) and we're going down a cliffside squinting trying to see the road ahead because we don't know how to put on the headlights. Jess keeps saying we have to pick up hitchhikers and save them, and I keep saying I really don't want to open any doors and they're all walking in a suspiciously lurching manner. Then we reach a big sort of clearing thing, full of bodies and cars with the lights on and mobile phones all plugged into chargers all over the ground.

Then it starts getting a bit weird.

We go to pick another car, because ours is shit, and Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear comes out of nowhere and starts saying we're picking the wrong one and tries to get us to take a sporty lambourghini type thing. I point out it has no roof, which is bad for deterring zombies. Jeremy sulks. We get into a really big black car instead and Jeremy bags drivers seat. Just as we're about to leave we hear running, and this guy being chased by a whole pile of the old zombies comes along, and we grab him and pull him into the car as we drive away. It's Rufus Wainwright.

So it ends up with Jess in the passenger seat yelling at Jeremy that we're trying to get away, not hit the mximum amount of zombies in the minimum time, and Jeremy just laughs and says 'ok, ok, but so long as you admit I can hit more than May', and I'm singing Hallelujah in the back with Rufus. And I tell him I'm too hysterically scared to be embarassed, and I want him to know he has a lovely voice and kiss him on the cheek.

Then Jess is suddenly Stephen Colbert (once again, made perfect sense in dream-logic) and is telling Rufus that once when he was doing a musical he used to practice the duets with a tape of Rufus singing, and they both get all excited, and start singing the songs in a very romantic way. And Jeremy is all 'bloody homosexualists' and I'm cracking up.

And then I woke up, and the world seemed so tragically boring.

So that's the dream. Yeah. I seriously did dream that. Not that I care if you believe me or no, it makes no difference, but it would be nice if you did. Because then you could understand my eagerness to go to bed tonight and see if I can come up with something similar.

Yes, I know dreams don't work like that.

Oh, shut up.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I WANT TO BELIEVE.

THEN DO. DO BELIEVE. EMBRACE THE MAGIC :)

*BASKS*

Um, I'm sorry to laugh at your possibly disturbed sleep, but... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I started giggling as soon as I read "Then it starts getting a bit weird. " and full out crying at the end XD hope you good night's sleep and another hilarious dream tonight ^_^

I have never been so upset to wake up!

There is nothing worse than waking up after a truly brilliant dream. You know it's gone forever...

I love cracktastic dreams like that! I had one once where my roommate and I had to go into this alternate universe in order to save our sisters, and it was full of monsters and such. We ran into vampire!Stephen Colbert, who helped us fend off these evil faceless guard monsters sent after us by the evil dictator, that could only be killed by slicing off their heads. (Dream!me intuitively knew both this and how to use a sword, of course.) We eventually stormed the evil dictator's castle only to find that said evil dictator was Jon Stewart. When I yelled at him for sending the guard monsters after us, he promised that they weren't trying to kill us, and confided to us that he wasn't really evil, he just pretended to be evil so the monsters would respect him, but we made him see The Error Of His Ways. Oh, and our sisters were just hanging out in his castle, drinking hot chocolate and playing Sorry!, completely unharmed.

Crazy batshit dreams are my favorite things ever. =P

I love how dream!me is always totally unfazed by everything that is completely wtf, but will become really worried about small details. For instance, the only part of that dream that felt ridiculous at the time was the car we ended up driving - I just kept thinking, this is stupid, Jeremy Clarkson would never pick this car, it's hideous.

(Your dream is even awesomer than mine. I am jealous. May smoke crack tonight before bed to beat you.)

I am a weapon of massive consumption, it's not my fault, it's how I'm programmed to function.

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