Parlez-Vous Francais? Parlez-Vous Francais? Si tu peux le parler allez tomber la chemise!

[girlanachronism]

Swot vac starts today! I celebrated by grabbing myself a book of Neil Gaiman short stories and buying Ferris Buellers Day Off on DVD. I shall spend my weekend curled up on my couch cheering Ferris and wanting to comfort Cameron. Rounded off with stories of little old ladies who find the Holy Grail in op shops, jack-in-the-boxes who wait for children in the dark and grin, trolls who eat your life and wear your soul like a nice-fitting jacket and a St Nicholas who is as old as sin and prays for death, a martyr who wonders why Judas got a lighter punishment. Neil Gaimans books: the only horror stories I'd ever read.

In other news:

I'm becoming disturbingly attracted to Ryan Reynolds. It's all wrong. Yes, he's pretty, and funny. But he's considered good looking by the mainstream, he gets romantic comedy leading roles, he's in stuff like 'Just Friends' . THIS IS NOT ME.

Yet, there are these moments where it's like the world is conspiring to force me to like him. Like, where I'm watching a truly appalling movie and he's there providing a moment that is actually vaguely amusing. Cases in point: that horrible Wolverine movie, where his smartassery provides one of the few watchable characters in Deadpool (the other being Gambit, solely on prettiness.) Also, Blade Trinity. (Yes, I watched this. I was forced, but I acknowledge that is no defence. Kill me if you like.) I mean, that was one bad film. But I giggled when he was all chained up and telling that vampire chick about a tracking node or implant or something. "It's in my right ass cheek" bitchslap "Ok, left ass cheek" bitchslap "Seriously, it's under the Hello Kitty tattoo"... and then "You cock-guzzling thundercunt!"

And then I find this video.

He's kissing Nathan Fillion's neck. That's not playing fair. That's manipulating me through my love of the man who brought us Capt. Malcolm Reynolds and joined Neil Patrick Harris in creating the awesomeness of Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.

Damn you, Ryan Reynolds. Damn you.

*

 

Nice people. It's like they are a different species. You see, my new uni friends are all lovely, lovely sweet creatures and that means we just don't have the same sense of humour. I find In Bruges hilarious and wonderful. They are upset because of the dead children and midget crackheads. The more aggressive type of self deprecation I like to indulge in is confusing to them, leading to conversations ("I think you have self-esteem issues" "You can't have issues with something you've never encountered, honey.") which just make things worse.

They have decided I am a Dark And Damaged Person who is in need of Help. Which, y'know, is funny cos I personally consider cynicism rather healthy and naive optimism as something terminal. Ok, I'm addicted to sarcasm. But I'm really quite emotionally healthy. I think.

At least I don't spend all my time too shy to go after the guy I am massively in love with *nonamesahemahem*. Girl, if you don't go for it soon I'm going to rohypnol you and him and lock you in a closet together for 48 hours.

 
Art vs Science: This band is insane. I love them. I love them like Vince Noir loves his hair straightener. I love them like Moss loves the internet. I love them like Stephen Colbert loves Sweetness and like Jon Stewart loves Stephen Colbert. Triple J has been playing the fuck out of their latest song, Parlez-Vous Francais, and it's just so much fun. And, of course, their Adelaide tour is sold out. DAMN IT.


(Skip the first half if you don't like guitar solos...)

I do love finding new bands. www.myspace.com/artvsscience