Lime green, lime green and tangerine, the sickly sweet colors of the snakes I'm seeing

[girlanachronism]

My attention has been brought to the existence of Conservapedia, and I wish so very much that it hadn't. Apparently in tonight's Colbert Report (damn you Australian delay in receiving fakenews...) contains a call to arms to edit Stephen into it. Is anyone surprised? Didn't think so.

Anyway, I heard about it, and immediately I knew I must not under any circumstance look at that site. Or I would lose my shit and not in a good way.

But...

the lunacy...

so tempting...

So I gave in. And after ten minutes I REGRET IT SO, SO MUCH. I mean, fuck. Seriously. There's a page entitled Atheism and Mass Murder , I shit you not, and the page on racism is 1/4 a definition of the word and 3/4 an attack on Keith Olbermann for 'incorrectly' calling Rush Limbaugh racist. And the page on Democrats contains some absolute gems like "A poll conducted by Fox News released in October 2007 found that 1 in 5 Democrats – nearly 10 million voters – think the world will be better off if the United States were to lose the War in Iraq." and "White Democratic leaders --but not blacks or Latinos--consistently favor measures such as the establishment of same-sex civil unions".

Oh god. If I weren't so internet illiterate, I would be engaging in so much cybervandalism right now. I'm daydreaming about the things I'd write... although if we're honest, I'm so lazy even in my greatest righteous rage I'd probably only be bothered redirecting links to things like this.


Damn. It's so stupid I'm sort of ashamed I even care what it says.

Comments

[alivemagdolene.livejournal.com]

I look forward greatly to that site crashing down with all the hits it gets from The Colbert Bump™ since I'm willing to bet the site ain't all that busy and interactive.

Seriously: editing The Bible? I love when Conservatism eats "its" (Jesus wasn't a Conservative) own young (this happens often).

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Of course there's a significant difference between this and the tradition-destroying, anti-american, ethically berefit 'modernising' of a a bible that must be taken literally word for word no matter how social norms have or how great the moral dissonance... this time it's conservatives doing it.

[slug-belcher.livejournal.com]

I HATE STUPID PEOPLE!!!!!!! That is all.

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Yep, I feel your anger.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lady_vanilla_/]

Oh man, I am so terrified of sites like this. To fair, I'm scared of such thumping certainty in leftie sites too, but it's the Bible stuff that always creeps me out. I'm currently fighting back the urge to beat someone in my office around the head with a science text book as he tells me the world is 6,000 years old. UGH.

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. It can be just as annoying to have to talk to militant atheists... and they tend to be so smug... but gah, that sounds horrible. I don't think I could deal with that very well. I think I would be quite rude.

[angelascats.livejournal.com]

I remember a couple years ago I tried to make a Conservapedia article about this kid who went to my college who wrote really bad papers. They didn't let me. It was a good article too! You'd think they'd need all the articles they can get.

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Ha, yeah. Maybe your article was not conservative enough. Did it mention that homosexuals democrats atheists are trying to forward the communist cause? A good dash of that always helps.

[angelascats.livejournal.com]

no...it just had a sample of his paper where he thought, "Lord of the Rings wasn't very good, but it was a good movie."

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

:D Quality analysis, right there!

[angelascats.livejournal.com]

oh my god, you don't even know. It's kind of snoopy, but we went through all our friend's roommate's food and then I looked through his papers and I couldn't help keeping some of them. I wonder if I still have them somewhere...

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

It's very snoopy, and I approve wholeheartedly! I mean, come on. Lie and distrust are what every good relationship are built on, godammit!

... right?

[angelascats.livejournal.com]

haha, no but he never found out at least, right? My friend said he never would have noticed anyway...If I find those papers I will message them to you :)

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

And I shall read them with delight. I can never get enough of that kinda stuff.

[kitsunesan.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was perusing their site and came across such lovely things as, "The existence of ex-gays is firm proof that homosexuality is a choice, and most ex-gays seek to become so because of how the damaging the lifestyle is to them emotionally and spiritually." I'm paraphrasing here, but it's enough to make my blood boil. They don't seem to be accepting new members at the moment(gee, I wonder why), but if they ever do, as hard as it will be I'll go make a name and play along until I get editing rights and then I will destroy them. Temporarily, given how they police the damn site, but even for a little while it'll so be worth it.


God, people are such douchebags.

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Firstly: your icon is made of amazing brilliance.

Secondly: EXACTLY. WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THESE FUCKTARDS.

I will so join you in the consrvapedia destruction. Our next joint fic challenge: rewrite conservapedia with heavy doses of teh sarcasm. It'll be fun! :D

[kitsunesan.livejournal.com]

Oooh, that sounds like an excellent plan my love! :D *plotplotplot*

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

What section do you believe deserve our illustrious attentions first? I'm up for vandalising the homosexuality page for as long as we can keep it up.

[kitsunesan.livejournal.com]

I like that plan. Also, I want to go for the God page and make it all about Stephen (Loyalty! :D). And take write up how their "trinity" symbol is actually a Celtic triquetra and a tripple goddess symbol. Hmm. Come to think of it, I'd like to hit up the Christmas and Easter pages too and write a real history of the holidays. Explain why you look for eggs and eat peeps and get chocolate bunny rabbits. Not that I have issues with Christianity or anything... >_>

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Aces. I see we have plans. The difficulty now being to translate it into Stephenesque faux-conservospeak. History has a well known liberal bias, possibly?