LIKE A BOSS

[girlanachronism]

Mr. Colbert, thanks for coming to your performance review

No problem, Jon.

So you're in charge around the Report, is that fair to say?

Absolutely, I'm the boss

Okay, so take us through a day in the life of the boss

Well the first thing I do is...

Greet the Nation (like a boss)
Speak Truthiness (like a boss)
Tonight’s Word (like a boss)
And now a Threatdown (like a boss)

Run for President (like a boss)
Withdraw nobly (like a boss)
Make Huckabee (like a boss)
Fight with Conan (like a boss)

Ask Tad to tumble (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Blame gay agenda (like a boss)

Grope interns (like a boss)
Be racially colour-blind (like a boss)
Take on NASA (like a boss)
My name’s in space (like a boss)

Harrassment lawsuit (like a boss)
Lose Emmy to Manilow (like a boss)
Stalk Charlene (like a boss)
Send Tad to Alabama (like a boss)

Pull out Sweetness (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)
Oh fuck man I can't fucking do it... shit!
Pussy out (like a boss)

Eating Bobby (like a boss)
Dance-off with Rain (like a boss)
Blow Papa Bear (like a boss)
Score honey-crack (like a boss)

Suck my own dick (like a boss)
Break my wrist (like a boss)
Addicted to painkillers (like a boss)
Barack wearing Wriststrong (like a boss)

Black out in the gutter (like a boss)
Meet the Statue of Liberty (like a boss)
Fuck its brains out (like a boss)

Lose my hair in Iraq (like a boss)
Fly a fighter jet (like a boss)
Crash into Al-Faw Palace (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)

Uh huh. So that's an average day for you then, Stephen?

No doubt, Jon.

You fuck the Statue of Liberty and then you die?

Hell yeah

And I think at one point there you said something about sucking your own dick

Nope.

Actually I'm pretty sure you did

No, Jon, I'm not a flag-burning, gay marrying pinko-liberal sexual deviant.

Okay. Well, this has been eye opening for me

I'm the boss

Yeah, no, I got that. You said it about four-hundred times

I'm the boss

Yeah. I got it.

I'm the boss

No, I heard you... uh, see you later

LIKE A BOSS!

Comments

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

Awww thank you! And of course I would love to friend you!

I know, right? And the way he looked at the camera when he said "Should have slapped me? My ears are still ringing!" (I think he was trying really hard not to laugh but the upshot was his voice was all wobbly and OH ABUSED!STEPHEN STOP BREAKING MY HEART)

[kitsunesan.livejournal.com]

Someone drew fanart of that imagine scene too. O_o Thankfully you could only see "Stephen", but he had a red mark on his face from being slapped. It was disturbing. Gyah. XP

Anyway- +friended! :D

[greenpixiehair.livejournal.com]

AHHH DO NOT WANT

no wait, yes I do. Where?

[kitsunesan.livejournal.com]

Ugh, I couldn't tell you. XP Sorry, it's on Deviant Art somewhere, I found the link one day while I was drudging through all the back-posts in fakenews_fanart. Though there's a lot of good stuff on there that doesn't take all that long to get through sadly, so if you're ever bored it's a fun place to meander. ^^